


Satisfaction (Darcy Can't Get No)

by carolinga



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Fantasy Sex, Masturbation, Other, Porn With Plot, Public Masturbation, Sex Pollen, Sexual Fantasy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-06-10
Packaged: 2018-01-27 01:06:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1709402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinga/pseuds/carolinga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Darcy gets dosed with alien pheromones that make her horny, she has to relieve herself somehow.</p><p>“I would totally do Iron Man right now. I wonder if he’d wear the suit.”</p><p>Wait. A billionaire superhero and a godlike alien both knowing she was sexually frustrated? That wouldn’t be embarrassing, or anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Satisfaction (Darcy Can't Get No)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my fill for the "experimentation" square of my bingo card for [All Bingo's May Solo Celebration](http://allbingo.dreamwidth.org/18468.html) challenge. The rest of Darcy's sexy adventures are coming soon!
> 
> (Takes place post-CA:tWS and contains a couple small spoilers. If you watch Agents of SHIELD, you should be okay.)

“Soooo.” Darcy tipped back in her metal desk chair and tried to act normal. Nothing wrong. Just a typical day in the lab. No big deal. 

“So,” Jane repeated, not bothering to look up from the chart she’d been working on for what seemed like forever. 

“That lab across the hall?”

“What about it?” Jane asked absentmindedly. She scribbled something and then scratched it back out before cursing beneath her breath. 

“Nice people over there, huh?”

“Sure.”

“What exactly are they working on again?” Just a casual question from one (kind of) scientist to another. Nothing weird about that, right? 

“It’s fascinating, actually.” Jane still didn’t look up. “They had samples from a range of alien life forms before they were closed down.”

“Aliens?” Oh. That sounded not so good. Her chair clunked against the floor as she tipped it back into place. “Life forms?”

“Yeah. They were doing something for SHIELD, some experiment with pheromones. But that was before—” Jane finally looked at Darcy. “Wait. Why are so you interested?”

“Just curious. You know what they say—curiosity killed the cat and satisfaction brought it back. So. How’s the chart going? Finished yet?” She gave Jane a big smile. Jane did not look convinced. “Alrighty, then. I’ll just—” she gestured toward her desk, “—get back to work.”

“Okay. What’s going on? If you’re voluntarily working, something’s up.”

“Hey, I work. I saved the world once. Worlds. I saved multiple worlds.” Darcy paused. Jane raised an eyebrow and tapped her pencil faster and faster against her notebook. “Well, I helped save them. How about some coffee? Do you want some coffee?”

“ _Darcy._ ” Jane’s face turned red. It was not a good look on her. Girl needed a heavy-duty foundation to cover it up. Darcy made a mental note to recommend one. Later. Much later.

“I’ll get us some coffee.” And get the heck away from Jane’s accusing stare.

“Darcy? What. Did. You. Do?”

“Nothing! It’s more like _who_.”

Jane closed her eyes. “Do I even want to know this?”

“I couldn’t help it!” 

“You couldn’t help _do_ ing somebody? I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. And what does it have to do with the lab across the hall?” She closed her eyes again and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Please tell me you didn’t.”

“Do you have a headache coming? ’Cause I can totally get you some aspirin.” Darcy winced when Jane gave her a LOOK. “But it really wasn’t my fault. Ian and I were just minding our own business…”

  


_**An hour earlier** _

Darcy handed Ian her bag as they walked upstairs to the lab. “Take this too.” 

Ian, already weighted down with a sack of fast food and a tray with four drinks on it—two coffees and a Sprite for Darcy, a Diet Coke for himself—hesitated. “You want me to carry your purse?”

“It’s a messenger bag. And there’s work stuff in there.” At least she thought there was. Maybe. “It’s your job. Do your job, intern!”

He shrugged and stooped a bit so she could loop the strap over his head. “You don’t have to be mean.”

“I am so not mean.” She opened the door to their floor and waited until he walked through. “Would a mean person hold the door for you? I think not.”

Okay, so maybe she was a little mean sometimes, but it was good for him. Thanks to a grant from Stark Industries, they were in New York now; he needed toughened up. (Okay, so technically they were in Jersey, but she could see New York from her window. Practically.)

And anyway, how long had she worked with Eric and Jane before they stopped treating her like an incompetent intern?

Wait. They still treated her like an incompetent intern.

“Sometimes the world sucks, intern. And when it does, you’ve got to suck it up.” Darcy slowed down by the door to the lab, a funny feeling settling in her stomach. She glanced at Ian. He was staring back at her, eyes wide. Had he always been this cute?

Sure, he was a good enough kisser, and he’d been fun that one time she let him hook up with her. But he suddenly looked delicious.

“Say that again,” he said, his gaze on her mouth.

“The world sucks, intern.” She swallowed. Had someone turned the heat up? ’Cause she was sweating, and she was not a sweater. “Suck…it—”

Who moved first? Who cared? His lips were on hers, her hands were under his shirt. The bag of food crashed to the floor. 

“Don’t drop my coffee,” she said in between pressing kisses to his neck. 

He broke away long enough to set the drink carrier and her messenger bag on the floor. His shirt rode up far enough to see he was wearing boxers. Red ones. 

“We need a room,” she said. “Now.”

When he straightened, she shoved down his zipper and stuck her hand in the red boxers that seemed really, really sexy for some reason.

“The lab,” he gasped out. 

“Jane’s in there,” she said and palmed his cock. 

“Not that one. The other one. It’s shut down.”

“There’s another lab? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

Without a word, Ian pulled her through the door across the hall. Wasn’t this a closet or something? But no, there were tables and dry-erase boards and beakers and shit. It was a full-on science-y lab. Huh.

Then they were kissing again and Ian pushed her up on a table. She liked to be in charge, but this was kinda hot too.

Some bottles fell over, but who cared about that when a cute guy was shoving her underwear down and kissing his way to her— 

  


**_Present_ **

“Uh, Darcy?” Jane’s cheeks were super red for some reason, and she was half-covering her eyes.

“What? I was just getting to the good part.”

Jane grimaced. “You didn’t happen to come into contact with one of their experiments, did you?”

“How would I know? I’m not a real scientist, as you keep reminding me.” She thought about it for a second. Those beakers or bottles or jars or whatever—they’d gotten knocked around pretty good when she and Ian were on the table. And when they were on the floor. And up against the wall. “What were we talking about? Oh, right. Experiments. I kinda, might have been sitting on one. Why?”

“You’re, um—” Jane made a face and pointed down.

Darcy glanced toward her lap. At some point, she’d shoved her hand into her pants and begun stroking herself. “Dude! How long have I been doing this?”

“A while. Do you think you could stop?”

“Oh, right. Well, this is awkward.” It took a bit but she finally managed to pry her hand away from herself. It really wanted to stay down there. 

And Darcy really wanted it to stay down there too. She squirmed in her seat, trying to find a position that wouldn’t make her clit throb so much.

Pretty much impossible.

Jane stood and began pacing around the lab. “Okay, okay, okay,” she kept muttering. Every once in a while, she’d look over at Darcy and then away again really fast. 

“Don’t freak out,” Darcy told her.

“I am _not_ freaking out. I am perfectly calm,” she said, pacing faster.

“Clearly.” 

“You’ve obviously been infected, or something. I need to contact SHIELD. No, SHIELD is gone. Whoever worked at that lab, I don’t know how to reach them.” She thought for a moment. “Or if they’re even still alive, considering.”

Darcy watched Jane move around the room. It was kind of cute, the way she kept muttering to herself. And those jeans made her butt look really good. Darcy squirmed some more. No. She absolutely, positively would not consider kissing Jane. Even though she did have great lips. And soft-looking skin.

Maybe one kiss wouldn’t hurt.

Jane stopped pacing and gave Darcy a relieved smile. “Tony Stark.”

“I would totally do Iron Man right now. I wonder if he’d wear the suit.”

“What? No. He can help you. Maybe not him personally, but he must have labs and scientists. I need to contact him.” She resumed her path around the lab. “Maybe Thor can talk to him.”

Wait. A billionaire superhero and a godlike alien both knowing she was sexually frustrated? That wouldn’t be embarrassing, or anything. “You can _not_ tell them, Jane.”

“What other choice do I have? You’re doing it again.”

Darcy snatched her hand back from her crotch. Damn it. It’s like the thing had a mind of its own. A hot, dirty mind. “Maybe we should just wait it out.”

“What if the effects don’t wear off? You’ll be stuck like this.”

“Now _I’m_ freaking out.”

“The sooner we start studying you, the sooner we can find a cure or antidote, and the sooner you go back to normal. Or whatever passes for normal for you.”

“Thank you,” Darcy said primly. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Jane put on a jacket and babbled about going to see if Thor could contact Tony. She and Thor had been extra tight lately. He spent most of his Earth time at Jane's loft, making kissy faces with her and then waiting for her to return when she was gone. It was either sickening, adorable or totally hot, Darcy wasn't sure which. Thinking about Thor and his hammer probably wasn't the best idea, though, considering her hand had once again worked its way into her pants.

Averting her eyes, Jane warned Darcy not to leave the lab. “And don’t touch anything,” she added. “ _Any_ thing. Maybe I’ll just lock this behind me.”

Darcy nodded agreeably as Jane left and bolted the door from the outside.

Finally. Now that she was alone, she could try to get some relief. She let her hand go where it wanted.

Just as she was about to get off—it only took like a minute—she realized two things, and her orgasm fizzled away.

One, where the hell was Ian? He hadn’t been in the lab since their hookup. 

And two, they’d left her bag—and phone—in the hall. And now the door was locked. Why did they need locks on the outside, anyway? The people who worked in the lab before Jane and Eric must have been doing some pret-ty messed-up stuff. 

She ran over to the window in time to see Jane driving away in her little car.

“Crap.” Now how would she find out if Ian was okay?

More important, who would she have sex with if she couldn’t make any booty calls?

**Author's Note:**

> If you've gotten this far, thank you so much for reading! Darcy is a fun character to write; I hope I've done her justice and that you've had fun reading my take on her. The next four squares (Can't Get No Satisfaction, Fantasies, Must Keep Quiet, Caught in the Act) feature sexy times with Loki, Steve Rogers, and Natasha Romanoff, and they should be up shortly.
> 
> Thanks also to dirty_diana, for graciously beta reading this and pointing out my overuse of ellipses (among other things!).


End file.
